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Democrats versus Republicans
Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.
Democrats name their children after currently-popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.
Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.
Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes.
Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first.
Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.
Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.