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These 2 soldiers are serving in Bosnia. The town they are in is like a ghost town, there are bombs going off everywhere and they haven't seen a living person for over a week. As they're walking through the streets one of them decides that he really has to take a shit. They see a building that doesn't look too dangerous and get down on their stomachs and crawl towards it, dodging shells as they go.

The first soldier decides to keep watch while his friend takes a shit in the building. After spending an hour in the building, the soldier finally comes out with his trousers round his ankles and sweat pouring off his forehead. His partner says to him -"Fuckin' Hell! What took you so long? You were gone for an hour!!"

The soldier replies -"You wouldn't believe it! I went in there to take a shit and I saw this girl so I walked over to her and started fucking her! My God she was brilliant, I fucked her in every room, in every position I could think of, even up the arse and she didn't even flinch!"

His mate replies - "Holy Shit! Did she give you a blowjob?"

To which the soldier replies - "Erm no, I couldn't find the head..."