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Top 10 Things that would be different If The Apostles Had Been Gay...

1) The Last Supper would have been a brunch.
2) The Beatitudes would start, "Fabulous are they..."
3) The Triumphal Entry screams for a drag number.
4) The water at the wedding feast of Cana would not have been changed to wine, but to extra dry Bombay Sapphire martinis with a touch of Curacao for color.
5) The temple would not have been cleansed of money changers, just redecorated.
6) Mary's hair would have been flawless.
7) The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce.
8) Priests would have affairs with altar boys... wait, never mind.
9) Jesus would never wear white after Labor Day.
10) The Sermon on the Mount would have been a musical.

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