Top 5 Best Puns

Current Rating: 3.41

A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes.

In grief, the second monkey passed away two days later. Not knowing what to do with them, she finally decided to take them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed.

After telling the owner of her wishes, he asked her, "Do you want them mounted?"

Blushing, she said, "No. holding hands will be fine."

Current Rating: 3.38

Q: Why is virginity like a balloon?

A: All it takes is one small prick and it's gone.

Current Rating: 3.34

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Current Rating: 3.3

Q: Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?

A: Because it's too cold out tide.

Current Rating: 3.19

Two ropes walk into a bar. They sit down and the bartender says. "Hey we don't serve ropes in here."

Both ropes get up and step outside. One rope says "I'm going to find another bar" and the other rope starts to ruffle and tie himself in a knot. "Well I'm going back in there, who does he think he is"

So the rope goes back into the same bar. When the bartender comes over and spots the same rope he says. "Hey didn't I just tell you that I don't serve ropes?...."

The rope says "Yep" and then the bartender asks "You are a rope aren't you?"

The rope replies "I'm a frayed knot."