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Top 5 Best Golf Jokes

Here are the current Top 5 Best Golf Jokes based on YOUR votes.
If you don't agree with these votes, then be sure to rate as many of our Random Golf Jokes as you want.
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Current Rating: 3.32

A man playing golf one Saturday at a local golf course is surprised when an attractive woman not only wants to play golf with him but also beats him by four strokes. As a consolation to beating him, she offers him a blowjob in the back seat of her car.

For the next month, every Saturday they meet, play a round of golf and after she beats him by four-five strokes, she goes down on him in the parking lot. The guy is in heaven until she invites him over for drinks and dinner and when he tries to take things to the next level, she breaks down and confesses she's a transvestite

"Are you mad at me?" he/she sobs.

"Damn right I am," the man shouts. "You've been hitting off the women's tee all month!"

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Current Rating: 3.31

Sam and Harry are playing one day. On the first hole, Sam hits a wicked slice into the adjoining fairway. The ball hits another player right between the eyes and he drops to the ground.

Sam and Harry rush over to the prostrate man and find him unconscious with the ball laying on the ground between his legs.

Sam screams, "Oh my God, what should I do?"

Harry replies; "Don't move him. If you leave him there he becomes an immovable obstruction and, according to the rules, you are allowed a drop two club-lengths away."

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Current Rating: 3.29

A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.

"What is that?" she asks.

"Those are my golf balls."

"Is that like tennis elbow?"

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Current Rating: 3.28

A husband and wife came for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, a long list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their quarter century of marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist stood up, walked around his desk and, asking the wife to stand, embraced her and kissed her passionately on the mouth.

The woman shut up and, in a daze, quietly sat down;. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least seven times a week. Do you think you can do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, Doc, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on the other days I play golf."

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Current Rating: 3.26

Two guys were playing golf when the first one said, "I really need to take a crap..."

"The second replied, "Well there's a tree, go behind it and do your stuff."

"The first guy looks over at the tree and comments, "But, I don't have any toilet paper."

Being a witty fellow, the second man remarks, "You have a dollar don't you? Just use it to wipe yourself"

Reluctantly, the first guy goes and does his stuff. Minutes later he comes back with crap all over him. The second asks, "Damn, what happened? Didn't you use the dollar?"

"Hell yes, but have you ever tried to wipe with three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel?"

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