Top 5 Best Dirty Jokes

Current Rating: 4

A fortune 500 company opened a brand new sales territory deep in the heart of China. This area was so remote that few foreigners had ever been there before. The company decided to send it's best salespeople there one at a time, for one month each. The idea being to acquaint them with the people and customs of the region.

Well, the first salesman spent a month there and then it was another salesman's turn. The two of them meet at a remote train station as the first is leaving and the second is on his way in. "Man it was great" says the first, "the scenery is beautiful, the people are friendly and everything is so cheap."

Then the first salesman cracks a devious smile... "and I've got a special surprise for you. Go into any restaurant and order the extra special egg-roll, hold the hot sauce. Got that?" "Extra special egg-roll hold the hot sauce " the second salesman replies. "Right" says the first "you're going to love it!" And with that the two part company.

Well the first night there the new salesman remembers the advice, goes to a restaurant and orders the extra special egg-roll, hold the hot sauce. "Extra special egg-roll hold the hot sauce, one dollar" Says the waiter. The man gives the waiter a dollar.

"You now in strange exotic land ..." says the waiter, "where many words have special and hidden meanings" and he points to curtain leading to a hidden room. The salesman walks through the curtain and behind it is the most beautiful, dark haired oriental girl he has ever seen. She is totally naked and the salesman has a hard-on inside of five seconds. Without saying a word she drops to her knees, undoes his pants and gives him the most incredible blow job of his entire life.

The salesman cannot believe his good fortune. After all he has many, many dollars and a whole month to spend them. Each night he goes from restaurant to restaurant and it's always the same. Extra special egg-roll hold the hot sauce, you are now in strange exotic land where many words have special and hidden meanings, incredible naked girl, unbelievable blow job.

On his last day there, on the way to the train station he figures he just has to do it one more time. This time, however, he's running late and a big hurry. "Give me the extra special egg-roll", in his haste he neglects to say hold the hot sauce "here's the dollar." "You now in strange exotic land ..." the salesman interrupts "yeah, yeah, yeah where many words have special and hidden meanings, blah, blah, blah." And off he goes to the back room.

He can't believe his good fortune, this girl is even more ravishing than any of the others. "What a way to go out" he thinks as he hurriedly un-buckles his pants. She's on him in a second, it's feeling fantastic, until...

She chomps down with all her might on his pecker. "OH MY GOD ..." he screams in agony "why the hell did you BITE me?" He lays writhing on the floor in pain, blood gushing from his nearly severed member.

"You now in strange exotic land ..." says the girl, wiping the blood from her mouth, "where many words have special and hidden meanings." She smiles a wry little smile. "You forget to say hold the hot sauce ..."

"Extra special egg-roll WITH hot sauce have little bite to it."

Current Rating: 3.89

A drunk guy walks into a bar. He looks to the left and says "You're all a bunch of assholes". Then he looks to the right and says "you're all a bunch of queers".

Suddenly, a man on the left side of the room jumps up starts to run to the other side of the room. The drunk guy roars, "where do you think you're going".

To which the man replies, "I'm on the wrong side of the room".

Current Rating: 3.69

Superman and Spiderman are standing at a Bar, Superman is looking a bit down.

- What's the matter? asks Spiderman.

- Well to tell you the truth, I haven't had "IT" for months and it's really getting to me comes the reply.

- Its funny you should say that, on the way here I was swinging past Wonder Womans apartment and she was lying on her bed in the altogether with her legs akimbo says Spiderman with a grin..

- What do you mean? asks Superman

- Well with your powers you could dive in, do the business and be out before she knows what hit her Spiderman replies

- Ok I'll do it.....

Off he goes to Wonder Womans apartment and sure enough shes still lying on her bed as if waiting for something!! He shoots through the window, straight in, does the job and flys straight back to the Bar.

- Bloody hell says Wonder Woman, What the hell was that?

- I don't know - but my arse is in pieces replied the Invisible Man...

Current Rating: 3.64

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are riding in an elevator. The redhead notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, "That looks like a cum stain!"

The brunette leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a cum stain too!" she says.

The blonde leans over and licks the spot on the elevator wall, then says, "Yep, but it's nobody from this building."

Current Rating: 3.63

Duane rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Duane smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing under the robe. Poor Duane breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."

He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being completely nude, she purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

The flustered, embarrassed Duane stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!"

She's astounded! "Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They are full, don't sag, and they're 100% natural! My buns - they are firm and do not sag, and have no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes or scars! Why in heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!"

Clearing his throat once again, Duane stammers - "Outside when you said you heard someone coming? That was me."