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Top 5 Best Dick Cheney Jokes

Here are the current Top 5 Best Dick Cheney Jokes based on YOUR votes.
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Current Rating: 3.23

"Cheney now says he can't blame the shooting on the guy who got shot. He said we tried that for three days. It didn't work." -- Jay Leno

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Current Rating: 3.22

"At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner. Afterwards he met with 100 donors, not campaign donors, heart donors." -- Jay Leno

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Current Rating: 3.18

"Vice President Dick Cheney has given another speech linking Saddam Hussein with the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Didn't President Bush say Saddam Hussein has nothing to do with the terrorist attacks? Here's my question, what if it turns out that Dick Cheney is the dumb one?" -- Jay Leno

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Current Rating: 3.16

"They were in a car, they drive along, they get out of the car, he shoots his friend in the face, then they get back in the car and they go hide for 18 hours. That's not hunting... that's an episode of 'The Sopranos'" -- Jay Leno

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Current Rating: 3.16

Top Ten Thoughts Going Through Dick Cheney's Mind At This Moment

10. "What should I do next--the phony chuckle or the unconvincing smile?"

9. "Hopefully he won't mention--Halibur--oh crap."

8. "W. better be tivoing 'The Gilmore Girls'."

7. "Where's the girl with my Jack and Coke?"

6. "To get the female vote maybe it's time to rip off the shirt and show some abs."

5. "Good God it's true--Edwards is devastatingly handsome."

4. "How the hell did the Yankees get shut out by the Twins?"

3. "I can snap this man's neck like a twig."

2. "That was the cue to bring out Osama! Where the hell is he?"

1. "Let's quit the cat and mouse crap and take this out to the parking lot."

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