Top 5 Best Blonde Jokes

Current Rating: 3.39

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a store.

The woman behind the counter looks them over and asks, "Do you girls want to see something?"

Confused they say yes.

The woman pulls out a ceramic pot from behind the counter, and says, "If you stick your head in this pot and say something you think is true, but it is not true you will disapear off the face of the Earth, POOF! But if what you say is true, the pot will turn to gold and it is yours to keep."

The redhead sticks her head in the pot and wispers, "I think I am the smartest girl in the world." And POOF! she disapears.

The brunette sticks her head in the pot and says, "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the world." And POOF! she disapears.

Then the blond sticks her head in the pot and says, "I think..." And POOF! she disapears.

Current Rating: 3.33

Blonde's Year in Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February- Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March- Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!"

April- Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May- Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June- Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July- Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August- Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October- Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November- Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December- Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!

Current Rating: 3.3

Q: What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech?

A: A blonde at a flashing red light

Current Rating: 3.27

The blonde goes to the doctor and complains of a sore throat. The doctor has her sit down, gets out his flashlight, and says "Open wide".

"The blonde says "I can't, the arms on this chair get in my way."

Current Rating: 3.26

Q: What is the definition of Blood, Sweat and Tears?

A: A blonde on her period standing in front of a tampon machine with a bent quarter.