Top 5 Best Adult Jokes

Current Rating: 5

A priest was send to a very small church in the backwoods of Alaska. After a couple of years, the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.

The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he couldn't have made it without his Rosary and two martinis each day.

With that, the priest asked the Bishop, "Would you like to have a martini with me?"

The Bishop replied, "Yes, that would be nice."

The priest turned around and hollered towards the kitchen, "Rosary, would you fix us two martinis please!"

Current Rating: 4.5

This woman is about to board a bus, but when she steps up, she realizes that her skirt is too tight, and she can't lift her leg to board. So, she reaches around behind her and lowers her zipper a bit and tries again.

Skirt's still too tight, so she reaches behind her and lowers her zipper some more, and tries again. She still can't get on, so she reaches back and lowers the zipper a bit more. She tries to step up, and feels two hands on her butt push her up onto the bus. She spins around and says, "Sir, I don't know you well enough for you to do that!"

He says, "Lady, I sure don't know you well enough for you to lower my zipper three times."

Current Rating: 4.5

While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform.

On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine.

Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection.

Looking down at this, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!"

Current Rating: 4.5

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, publicly accused her neighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar.

George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

Current Rating: 4

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common".