Top 30 Best Jack Bauer FactsHere are the current Top 30 Best Jack Bauer Facts based on YOUR votes. Return to Best Jokes Current Rating: 5 Jack Bauer often has to deal with Canadian terrorists, but these events are not televised. If they were, the show would be called "2". Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 5 7/11's are open 24 hours a day just in case Jack Bauer stops by for a microwave burrito. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 5 When Kennedy promised we would reach the moon, it was because he learned Jack Bauer had been born than morning. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 5 Jack Bauer doesn't lose weight, weight loses Jack Bauer. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 5 Henderson's men actually took cover behind a water tank. Unfortunately, when Jack Bauer wants an explosion, water turns into natural gas. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 5 There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. They are all Jack Bauer. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.8 Jack Bauer uses #1 pencils on standardized tests.... Jack Bauer doesn't associate with anything that is #2. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.75 When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.67 Jack Bauer forced Mother Theresa to confess to several crimes. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.5 Jack Bauer's case of the Mondays was that there weren't enough terrorists to kill in a day. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.5 Jack Bauer wears his sunglasses at night. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.5 Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.5 Anything is a weapon of mass destruction in the hands of Jack Bauer. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.43 If Jack Bauer saw a terrorist reaching for a bomb to blow himself up, Jack would shoot the bomb first. Nobody steals a kill from Jack Bauer. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.4 Kim is an Ashlee Simpson fan. It's the only reason she is on the radio. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.33 Why did Forrest Gump run so fast? Jack Bauer was chasing him. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.33 Jack Bauer wrote 27 of the top 30 facts about Chuck Norris. The authors of the three he did not write, are dead. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.33 If you break one of Jack Bauer's ribs he will kill you that much faster. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.33 It is a known fact that when Time magazine awards "The Man of Year*", there is fine print on the bottom of the cover that says, " *besides Jack Bauer." Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.25 Jack Bauer doesn't stop at stop signs. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.25 If Jack Bauer had invented geometry, triangles would have only one side. Jack's side. It follows, then, that the area of a triangle is equal to Jack squared. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4.22 When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 If Jack Bauer says he would tell you but he'd have to kill you, he'll probably kill you anyway. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 Pi runs on forever in fear of Jack Bauer. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 Only Jack Bauer knows whats going to happen at the end of Day 5. In order to keep it a secret, he killed Keifer Sutherland. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 At the end of his life, Jack Bauer will have died a minimum of three times. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 Jack Bauer once had CTU open a socket to the depths of hell. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 Chase once asked Jack Bauer if he was having a case of the Mondays. This is the real reason Jack cut Chase's hand off. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 The creation of the Chuck Norris fact generator was merely a tactical maneuver by Jack Bauer in a successful attempt to lure out the enemy. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 Nerve gas doesn't harm Jack Bauer, it simply gets on his nerves. Email Joke to as many as five friends |
