Random 24 Jack Bauer FactsRandom 24 Jack Bauer Facts Return to Best Jokes Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. If you want to make Jack Bauer mad, just use terms like "protocol", "orders", or "civil liberties". Jack Bauer has killed more people than Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris. And he did it in 24 hours. President Logan is wrong. Jack Bauer disappearing will not be for the good of this country. Jack Bauer is the good of the country. Why did the terrorist cross the street? To get hit by a car before Jack Bauer could get him. Jack Bauer was in last years season of "Skating with Celebrities". The show never aired because he hid in the air ducts, then killed everyone and faked his own death. When Jack Bauer graduated UCLA, UCLA got a degree in Criminology and Law. Jack Bauer never parks in handicap parking spots. He does however make sure that there are plenty of crippled people to use them. It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent. Two of Jack Bauer's wrongs DO make a right. Too bad Jack Bauer is never wrong. Jack Bauer once made a woman orgasm by looking at her. He then killed her to prevent the terrorist's from overhearing her screams. Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car. Jack Bauer picks up women by telling them, "You've read my file... you know what I am capable of." You do not want to play the Jack Bauer version of Jeopardy. The first name on Schindler's List was "Jack Bauer". Kim is proof that "it skips a generation". If your pizza wasn't delivered in 20 minutes or less, Jack Bauer wasn't the driver. Jack Bauer can burn ants with a magnifying glass at night. When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables. If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out. Sticks and stones may brake your bones but Jack Bauer will always kill you. Kobe would pass to Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer doesn't have sperm; he ejaculates babies. |
