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Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts

Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts
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Jesus wears a T-shirt that says "Jack Bauer is my homeboy".


Jack played kickball once when he was a little boy. Now, somewhere, there is a man with "Spalding" imprinted on his face.


When Jack Bauer played Duck Hunt as a kid, he shot a hole through the TV. With the Zapper.


Jack Bauer stays up all night. Now vampires are afraid to come out at all.


In the time it takes you to read this, Jack Bauer would have already ended your life and moved on to your neighbors.


Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.



Jack Bauer doesn't put the toilet seat down.


Jack Bauer is such a bad ass that as a Boy Scout he earned all his merit badges in one day.


Jack Bauer doesn't believe in testing cosmetics on animals, he prefers terrorists.


Jack Bauer has never lost The Game. Jack Bauer invented The Game


A long time ago a man disrespected Jack Bauer; coincidentally, that man was found dead the next day with two bullets in his chest, his hand chopped off, and a towel lodged deep down his throat.


People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.



The new best selling bumper sticker reads: "Jack Bauer will beat the crap out of your Honor Student".


After beating up Walt during filming of Season 5, Jack said "Looks like Walt Cummings is now Walt Goings."

While Tony Almeda was able to force a chuckle, Michelle Dessler and David Palmer didn't laugh.

The rest is history.


Family pictures in God's wallet... Just Jack.


Jack Bauer's gun was specifically made for him. If Chase or Tony ever fired it, the sheer power of it would cause their arm to rip off. That's why it's so loud, and also why every agent other than Jack gets injured.


There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.



If you can see Jack Bauer, he can see you. If you can't see Jack Bauer you may be only seconds away from death.


Jack was going to cut Chase's hand off anyway. The bomb just gave him an excuse.


You know Jack Bauer loves Audrey when he willingly gives up the opportunity to torture her.



If Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris were the main characters in Brokeback Mountain, Chuck Norris would be the catcher and subsequently would never walk again.


Jack Bauer thinks it's cute when David Banner says "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry". You wouldn't have the opportunity to not like Jack Bauer when he is angry, you'd be dead.


Dick Cheney asked Jack Bauer if he wanted to go hunting, Jack Bauer said start running Dick.


Jack Bauer has once made a lie detector lie. He then proceeded to torture it until it told the truth.


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