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Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts

Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts
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Jack Bauer did not get hit by a car. The car got hit by Jack Bauer.


CTU agents watch highlights of Jack Bauer torturing terrorists. They call it, "You just got Jacked up."


Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".



The only reason Jack Bauer cried over Terri's death was because that unborn child had so much potential.


If you're a passenger in the car that Jack Bauer is driving and he gets a call from the President, ask to be let out at the corner. Somebody is going to die.


The Roman Empire fell because they saw into the future that one day a man known as "Jack Bauer" would be born.


Jack Bauer lied to the devil and got away with it - we now celebrate this occasion as Easter.


Jack Bauer's Guidance Counselor once asked him what he wanted to do with his life. Bauer told him what his plans were for life after high school, but then he had to kill him.


There once was a terrorist cell planning an attack on United States soil. CTU got wind of this and naturally sent Jack Bauer to "recon" the base and call for additional reinforcements if needed. Upon arrival at said encampment, Jack saw that the head terrorists were in one room planning a biological attack. Chuckling to himself, Jack fired one bullet. Just one. That fateful bullet bounced off the walls killing all inside. Pleased with himself for saving ammunition, Jack returned to CTU and savaged the summer intern in situation room 1.


Texas does not "Hold 'Em", Jack Bauer does.

And he holds Texas too.


Jack Bauer's voice can be heard in the new Apple commercial. Bill Gates immediately switched to a Mac.


If the government made public the fact that Jack Bauer is still alive, China would no longer be the world's most populous country.


If Jack Bauer says: "I need a hack saw..." get him a hack saw. And while you are at it, get him some sort of bag to put whatever appendage Jack's about to cut into... He'll like your initiative... and someday, that may save your life.


Anything is a weapon of mass destruction in the hands of Jack Bauer.



In addition to working at CTU, Jack Bauer also holds a part-time job at the IRS. Hence the phrase, "Death and taxes are the only sure things in life."


Jack Bauer loves reality TV. That's why he allows FOX to follow him around.


Jack Bauer knows what you did last summer.


Hardee's is considering renaming their Monster Thickburger - "The Jack Bauer Burger" - because with its 1,420 calories, 107 grams of fat, 229 milligrams of cholesterol, and 2,651 milligrams of sodium - it could kill you.


Jack Bauer turns left on red.


Jack Bauer can actually listen to his girlfriend talk.


Someone told Jack Bauer to "kill the lights." I feel sorry for those light bulbs.


If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.



Jack Bauer can find the square root of -1.


Jack Bauer can do more with a cell phone than most hackers can do with the top personal computers.


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