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Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts

Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts
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There's a reason why getting your car stolen is referred to as being "Jacked."

Every time Jack Bauer cries, an angel loses its wings. And implodes.

Nothing could get in the middle of Jack Bauer. Not even a middle name.

Jesus did not die for our sins. He refused to divulge information to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without instructions or an alan key.

Jack Bauer made Heather Brooke gag.

If a company sends Jack Bauer a letter that says, "You may have already won $1,000,000" then they better give Jack a million dollars.

When Jason Bourne grows up...he wants to be just like Jack Bauer.

Worst Career Move: Congratulations. You've been assigned to CTU. Jack Bauer will be reporting to you.

Jack Bauer taught his kids to be potty trained by pointing a gun at their heads and strapping their arms to a nuclear device; they had 3 minutes.

Jack Bauer won his third grade spelling bee. He spelled whatever the hell he wanted.

Jack Bauer was removed from Counter-strike by Valve because the counter-terrorists always won. Always.

Jack Bauer could silence Simon Cowell.

Jack Bauer uses pepper spray to re-wet his eyes and get the red out.

Jack Bauer was once at a club and was asked if he could break dance. Minutes later the dance floor was littered with broken bodies.

Jack Bauer ended The Never Ending Story.

Jack Bauer is the reason the housewives are desperate.

Jack Bauer's tears can bring back the dead. Too bad he didn't gain this power until the end of the 3rd season.

Jack Bauer has once made a lie detector lie. He then proceeded to torture it until it told the truth.

When Jack Bauer was circumcised, the doctor had to use a guillotine. Afterwards, baby Jack giggled.

Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

If Jack Bauer asks if you have a visual on the suspect, and your answer is "No"... you better hope CTU does something real fast.

When Jack Bauer graduated UCLA, UCLA got a degree in Criminology and Law.

My girlfriend slipped while we were in bed and called me Jack. It made me finish too early. "Premature Jack Elation".

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