30 Random Chuck Norris Facts30 Random Chuck Norris Facts Return to Best Jokes When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris. In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a flotation device. Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years. Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts". Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked. Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover. TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow. According to the Laws of Physics, it is impossible for Chuck Norris to build more muscle. Upon realizing this, Chuck Norris swiftly roundhouse kicked every law of physics known to man, as well as those known only by Chuck Norris. He now has the ability to will his muscles to any level of strength he desires at any given time. Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone. He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick. For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY. It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin. In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard. Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close. Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary. Chuck Norris can round house kick trees and turn them into furniture The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not. Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice. The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano. Chuck Norris can hear Silence Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead. When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris Halloween costume he was wearing. |
