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30 Random Chuck Norris Facts

30 Random Chuck Norris Facts
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.



When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.



Chuck Norris makes water walk on Jesus


In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.



Medusa looked at Chuck Norris and she turned to stone.


Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.



When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.



Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.



If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.



Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle.



The best gift to give Chuck Norris is something he doesn't have, which is, well... virginity


Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.



When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.



Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg.


It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.



While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.



Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.



If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.



Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.



Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.



There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.



A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.



Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.



Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.



Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.



A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.



You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you're Chuck Norris


Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.



In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be



When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.



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