30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts
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Chuck Norris cried during The Notebook.
Chuck Norris is wanted for raping 10 different men during last year's Carnival celebration in Brazil. The United States has refused the Brazilian extradition request.
Although Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is extremely effective, he has two right feet and can therefore only use it if his enemy is on his right. Stand on his left and Chuck Norris is as dangerous as Barney the Dinosaur's yellow friend.
Chuck Norris will fight you any time of the day. Except when "The View" is on.
When they asked Chuck Norris to be in Brokeback Mountain 2 he simply said "How many sex scenes?"
Chuck Norris's favorite Mario Kart character is Princess Peach. Princess Peach's favorite "Walker, Texas Ranger" character is Jimmy Trivette.
Chuck Norris has the ultimate World of Warcraft character! But he joins parties and leaves halfway through and always causes guild drama.
Chuck Norris voted Bush in the 2000 election.
Chuck Norris once took a bite out of a Boy George vinyl and swallowed it.
Chuck Norris was kicked out of the CIA because he was unable to come up with a better codename than "Nuck Chorris." To add injury to insult, it was a roundhouse kick.
The morning after sex with his girlfriend, Chuck Norris likes to greet her with breakfast in bed.
Chuck Norris raped my dog. And then my youth. And then my dog again.
After a night of passionate love with Tony Danza, Chuck Norris took the morning after pill, fearing an unwanted pregnancy.
Chuck Norris was once seen following a girl out of a bedroom at a party saying, "Listen, I'm sorry, that doesn't usually happen..."
Chuck Norris can't have a dog because dogs are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in fairy tales. He thinks you should only find happy endings at the strip club.
Chuck Norris caused Hurricane Katrina and encouraged George W. Bush to let Michael Brown handle it.
"Brokeback Mountain" is based loosely on the events of Chuck Norris' life.
Chuck Norris is credited with the invention of bottled water.
Chuck Norris had his penis surgically removed in order to make his roundhouse kicks higher.
Chuck Norris once shook my hand. It felt like I was holding on to 5 wet noodles of spaghetti.
When Chuck Norris was offered bread at a restaurant he replied, "No thank you, I'm watching my carbs."
Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the "Are you a good boyfriend" quiz in Cosmo.
Chuck Norris vs. Jay Leno: Chuck Norris - no lips, no chin. Jay Leno - no lips. Jay Leno by a chin.
Chuck Norris eats dirt because he thinks it is feces. He then takes a sip of gasoline and spits it out, complaining that it doesn't taste enough like urine.
Chuck Norris didn't really tell Admiral Akbar about the trap.
If Chuck Norris were gay, his name would be...oh wait.
Chuck Norris quit his job working on Sesame Street after just 4 hours, claiming he was tired of "the intimidation, harassment and bullying."
Chuck Norris has the chorus to the song "Fly By Night" tattooed on the underside of his penis.