24 New Jack Bauer FactsHere are our most recent 24 Jack Bauer Facts. Be sure to rate as many of our Random Jack Bauer Facts as you want. Check our all of our other categories too! Back to New Jokes Added on Tuesday, April 29th David Palmer did not get that horrible burn on his hand from a biological agent. He got it after he high-fived Jack. Added on Tuesday, April 29th When Jack Bauer does push-ups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down. Added on Tuesday, April 29th On Halloween, a child stopped at Jack Bauers house dressed in a terrorist costume. Jack killed him with a piece of candy corn before he noticed the difference. Added on Tuesday, April 29th If you're playing CounterStrike and Jack Bauer is on the other team, don't buy the AWP. All you're doing is saving him $4500 bucks. Added on Tuesday, April 29th Oil and Water don't mix, unless Jack Bauer tells them to. Added on Tuesday, April 22nd Jack Bauer can start a fire using only water. Added on Tuesday, April 22nd There is only one rule for dating Jack Bauer's daughter. Don't. Added on Thursday, April 17th The video game "God of War" was originally conceptualized as "Jack Bauer: The High School Years". Added on Thursday, April 17th Jack Bauer was supposed to be in Street Fighter 2, but was later removed by beta testers because every button resulted in the same move, shooting the opponent. When asked about the glitch, Bauer replied, "that's no glitch." Added on Tuesday, April 15th Jack Bauer stole every condom in the world. Why? Because he realized he's running out of people to kill. Added on Saturday, March 15th Since Jack Bauer and Kobe Bryant live in Los Angeles, they commonly switch jobs. What else could explain "Kobe" scoring 81 points. Added on Saturday, March 15th In the shadows, a team of CIA specialists follow Jack Bauer at all times, ready to collect his tears for chemical warfare production. Added on Saturday, March 15th George Mason once called Jack Bauer a "stupid chump." Years later he died in a nuclear blast. This is no coincidence. Added on Friday, March 14th Jack played kickball once when he was a little boy. Now, somewhere, there is a man with "Spalding" imprinted on his face. Added on Friday, March 14th In kindergarten, Jack broke the teacher's fingers for telling him recess was over. Added on Friday, March 14th The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?" Added on Thursday, March 13th Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jack Bauer thought they were fetching nukes so he killed them both and assumed the other Jack's identity. Added on Thursday, March 13th If Jack Bauer were a soup, it would be called "Cream of Death" Added on Thursday, March 13th Don't challenge Jack Bauer in a eye starring contest, he has not yet blinked once in his life. Added on Thursday, March 13th Superman has two weaknesses, kryptonite and Jack Bauer. Added on Wednesday, March 12th Jack Bauer loves reality TV. That's why he allows FOX to follow him around. Added on Wednesday, March 12th Mulder and Scully left the X-Files too soon. They would've realized that the truth is Jack Bauer. Added on Wednesday, March 12th Someone told Jack Bauer to "kill the lights." I feel sorry for those light bulbs. Added on Wednesday, March 12th Jack Bauer doesn't follow protocol. Protocol follows Jack Bauer. |
