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Jack was a lonely guy, no friends, a crummy job and he had only two hobbies: The first gave him hand cramps so bad he could barely do the other, clicking on a web page all day. One day he decided he needed a break and went to the mall. Jack spotted a new store called Far Out pets and went in. John, the slick fast talking sales manager talked him into buying a centipede.

Jack took his new pet home and quickly grew bored. He decided to go out for a drink. He leaned over the centipedes tank and asked "Do you want to go to the bar with me?"

There was no reply. After a moment, angry Jack yelled in the box. "Hey, are you deaf? I asked if you want to go to a bar!"

"Hold your horses," replied the centipede. "I heard you the first time."

"I'm putting on my shoes."

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