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I walked in to our house to find my wife and children all standing at the front door talking to a middle-aged woman.
"Hello, all," I announced.
My kids ran to me and told me the lady was from 'Sesame something'.
"The census bureau?" I asked.
"Yeah! How did you know?" they shouted excitedly.
"I know EVERYTHING!" I said not divulging that I had read about the door to door visits in the paper.
So we all walked up to the lady, and I told her that these children were from Cuba and that she should take them away. "Maybe they can get jobs picking sugar cane?" I asked.
My kids laughed, the lady just looked at me and my wife hit me.
"Um, for 'race'" I continued, "you can put us down as 'Black Irish'."
My kids laughed, the census taker didn't, my wife hit me.
"OK," I said, "strike two and I'm out. I'm gonna go take a dump."
My kids laughed, the census taker laughed, my wife hit me.