Random Jokes
Submit a Joke
Jokes by Email

Scottish Jokes

Current Rating - 3.05    With 340 votes

In a sleepy town in Central Scotland, Jimmy and his childhood sweetheart Morag, are wed. In the Honeymoon bed, Morag lays down the law:

"Now that we are wed, I have one rule. If you are ever unfaithful to me I'll chop your bits off!!"

Years pass peacefully, until one day Morag returns home to find Jimmy in bed with another woman. True to her word, she runs out to the garden and returns with a set of garden sheers and exacts her revenge. Still gripping the severed giblets, she leaps into her car and flees.

She speeds through the village, swerving from left to right in her rage. This attracts the attention of two local coppers, Kyle and Shamus, who take off in pursuit. Seeing them in her rear view mirror, Morag panics, winds down the window and hurls out the evidence, which thumps with a bloody splat on the copper’s windshield.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" swears Bill, "Did you see the size of the dick on that fly?"

Rate This Joke
5 - Joke Totally Rocks! 4 - Great Joke 3 - Good Joke 2 - Ok Joke 1 - Joke Sucks!
spacer blank More Scottish Jokes
Scottish Jokes spacer image