Current Rating - 3.04 With 215 votes
A priest working confession suddenly feels the "angry Mexican's revenge" and must act quickly. Opening the booth, he sees no one waiting in line and sees Bob, the janitor, sweeping the floor nearby. He quickly calls Bob over and asks him to take his place for a few minutes. Bob is not so sure he should do it, but the priest explains that should he run into any problems to simply refer to the confession handbook for any necessary punishments and takes off running for the bathroom.
A few minutes goes by when Bob gets someone in the booth to confess. The man states he lusted after a woman other than his wife but did nothing. Bob pulled out the handbook, looked up "lust" and told the man to say 5 Hail Mary's.
A few more people come in and, with the handbook, things go off without a hitch until a man came in and confessed that his neighbor's wife gave him a blowjob. So Bob pulls out the handbook to look up "blowjob". He couldn't find anything so he tried looking up "fellatio", still nothing. Finally he tried "oral sex". Nothing.
Desperate, he pokes his head out the booth to see if the priest might be coming back. No luck, but he spots an alter boy nearby and waives him over. "Excuse me, son, but what does the father give for a blowjob?"
The alter boy responds, "Usually 2 Snickers bars and a pat on the head."