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A young man and his wife go to the hospital to give birth to their new child. On arrival, the midwife prepares the room and ensures that the two are comfortable with the situation. The young man says that this is the greatest moment of his life and he wants to play a part in his new child's life. His wife gives birth shortly after and the young man is overjoyed to have a beautiful baby boy.
His wife is tired and the midwife takes the baby from her and says she will bathe him. The young man pipes up and says, "No, I want to play a part in his life as of now, let me bathe him."
"Well, alright," replies the midwife, "Come with me and I will show you where all the equipment is."
As the new father is preparing the bath the midwife says that she will pop out, get a cup of tea and return in two minutes.
Baby and father are happy to be left alone. On return however, the midwife sees the father with his shirt sleeve folded up and his index and middle finger in the baby's nose, forming neat figures of eight in the bath with the baby.
"What on earth are you doing!" screamed the shocked midwife.
The father replied, "I'm not putting my hand in that water, you ought to feel how fucking hot it is!"