Current Rating - 3.2 With 200 votes
The massive airliner sped along in cruising flight, autopilot engaged.
Relaxing in his seat, the Captain had just used the passenger-address system to point out the lava-spewing volcano in the distance off the starboard wing.
He turned toward the First Officer and remarked, "Right about now, I could use a coffee and a blow-job...."
The First Officer responded that he, too would be none the worse for either or both of those blessings.
What neither the Captain nor the F.O. knew, was that the push-button switch controlling the PA system had stuck in the depressed position.
The PA was still active.
Everybody aboard was listening to the dialogue in the cockpit!
In the forward galley, an alert flight attendant realized what was happening.
She immediately started to stride briskly toward the cockpit door.
As the stewardess passed Row 2 in First Class, the saintly, elderly lady in seat C, tastefully -- and expensively -- dressed, shod, and bejeweled, tapped her on the arm.
She paused and turned toward the passenger who desired her attention.
In a kindly voice, the matronly woman whispered, "Don't forget the coffee, honey."