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An 83-year-old man married a vivacious 19-year-old college coed. He was quite content, but after a few weeks, she told him that she was going to leave him if she didn't get some satisfying sex real soon.
So the man went to a sex therapist who then gave him a very high-priced shot of spermatozoa extracted from the rare Siberian road runner; the treatment cost him $60,000. "Now look," said the doctor. "The only way you're going to get it hard is to say 'beep', and then to get it soft again, you say 'beep beep'."
"How marvelous!" the old man said.
"Yes, but I must warn you," the doctor said, "it will only work three times in your life and then the spermatozoa tire out and die. And we don't have any more of this spermatozoa extract. The Siberian road runner has been extinct for over a decade now."
On his way home, the old man decided that he wasn't going to live through three bouts of sex anyway, so he decided to waste one of the beeps to try it out.
"Beep!" he said.
Immediately, his penis got hard and turned itself into a huge erection. Satisfied that it works, he then said "Beep! Beep!", and his penis got soft again. The old man chuckled with delight and anticipation. Having lost his attention to driving momentarily and veering into another lane, a car next to him went "Beep!" and the car behind him also responded with "Beep! Beep!".
Realizing that this noise used up his second erection, the man raced home and ran into the house as fast as he could for his last great fuck. "Honey!" he shouted at his young wife. "Don't ask any questions. Just drop your clothes and hop into bed."
The old man nervously undressed and hollered "Beep!" which instantly gave him a large ten-inch erection. Caught up in his excitement, she stripped off all her clothes and jumped on the bed smiling with delight as she eyed his swollen member. Then just as he was mounting her and starting to put it in the tender young wife, she said, "Alright! Now we're really smokin'!!! But what's all this 'beep beep' shit?"