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During camouflage training in Indiana, a private disguised as a tree had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
"You Welch!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically... "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog took a pee on my lower branches. But when those two squirrels ran up my pant leg and I heard the bigger say... "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' that did it!"