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Masturbation Jokes



Current Rating - 2.78    With 294 votes



The local vicar is having a bath, and he's a little bored, so he decides to, 'pleasure' himself. He's quite happily tugging away, reaches the old moment of bliss, and opens his eyes only to see, at the window, the window cleaner, jaw agape at what he's just seen.

A Couple of minutes later, the doorbell rings - it's the window cleaner. The vicar is understandably embarrassed, and asks the man how much he owes him.

"50 quid" comes the reply.

"50 quid?!?" says the vicar, startled.

"Yep, fifty quid or I tell the whole parish about what I saw, you perv."

So the vicar hands over the cash, and the cleaner gets on his way. The following week, the bishop's round for his supper and is having a wander round the vicar's house, admiring his lovely home. He says to the vicar, "Lovely clean windows you've got there vicar, who does them for you?"

"Oh, a guy from the village does them for me, he does a great job," replies the vicar.

"Oh, yeah. How much does he charge you, then?"

"Well," replies the vicar, "fifty quid, actually"

"Fifty quid?!? Blimey!" says the bishop. "He must have seen you coming."



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