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A group of young businessmen were chatting at the bar, and one decides to share his recent embarrassment with the others. He tells them that he was booking a plane ticket to Pittsburgh, but he was so preoccupied with the beautiful breasts of the girl at the counter, that instead of saying "I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh", he said, "I'd like a picket to Titsburg!"
An older guy nearby hears the story and says, "You know, I had a similar experience with my wife this morning. We were sitting at the breakfast table. and I meant to say, "Darling, could you please pass the butter" ...but what came out was, "You bitch, you're ruining my fucking life!"