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Two drunks are in a bar when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, "Jeez, I really wanna dance with dat girl."
The other drunk replies, " Go ‘head and aks her, don't be thuch a chicken thit."
So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Scuse me. Would you like to boogey ooggie woogie?"
Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says, "I'm sorry. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony, and I'd rather sit than dance."
So the man humbly returns to his friend.
"So what did she say?" asks the friend.
The drunk responded, "She said she's constipated on macaroni, and would rather shit in her pants."