One afternoon a bartender was surprised to find three new customers sitting at his bar, and all three were very sullen. After a great deal of time, he decided to break the silence, and asked the first man about his troubles.
"I'm the head of a large company, and I have to keep up a good appearance for my employees. But at a large seminar, in front of every member of my staff, I tried to tell them to reach for the sky. Instead, I told them they had pie in their eye."
"That's nothin'!", said the man of the cloth, sitting next to him. "I am the supposed to be the strongest thread in the moral fabric of my church, and when I tried to tell them to put hope in their souls, I actually told them to put soap in their holes!"
"That's nothing.", said the silent stranger at the end of the bar.
"What could be worse than that?" asked the bar-tender.
"This morning at the breakfast table, I looked at my wife and meant to say,'honey, please pass me the cornflakes'. Instead, I looked at her, and said, 'you bitch, you fucked up my whole life.'"